Film Reel Life
by SigSig
Summary: Somewhere, in a place outside of time, someone rewinds the tape and lets it begin again. (Sequel to "The Other Side of This Night".)
1. Collecting Dust

As Levi wasn't the dating type, Erwin took to visiting him at his apartment after work. Sometimes, he would meet him in the front and they'd walk somewhere, but, as the days grew colder in their march towards December, they often kept inside. More often than not, they took refuge in the warm, safe haven of Levi's bed.

It was nice, the thing they had going on. They became familiar with each other very quickly. Their informal meeting surely played a part in that, but it was more than just that. After spending the majority of his life never believing in such a thing as true love and soulmates, Erwin was beginning to suspect that he understood the meaning of those words. His mother was always concerned that he wouldn't stop working for long enough to find someone who would take care of him, but perhaps she could finally stop worrying.

With as fast as their relationship was progressing, he couldn't help feeling like maybe it was too fast. He couldn't remember the last time he spent so much time with someone else. When they weren't together, Levi also consumed his thoughts. He worried a little that it would affect his performance at work, but he hadn't noticed any significant changes. If anything, Levi gave him something to look forward to, making his tedious hours feel more bearable.

He worried about it less, eventually. When he noticed the way that Levi would get nervous when he had to leave, he realized that Levi wanted him there as much as he wanted to be there with him. Just the same as the first night they met, Levi still stubbornly kept his thoughts and feelings inside, but Erwin was getting much better at decoding his expressions, at interpreting his body language.

It wasn't just his imagination. He was someone important to Levi now, too.

On the first Friday of December, Erwin decided that he would invite Levi to his house. Since they met, he hadn't had him over to his own place a single time – not for any particular reason, really. Levi seemed to be most comfortable when they were at his apartment, so he didn't feel like there was a need to change things. Things were good the way they were, but if their relationship was going to go any farther, the least he could do was show him his place; maybe make dinner for him, light some candles... Make it romantic.

What was the point of even having his own house if he was never going to have anyone else over?

So, that Friday, he texted Levi before leaving work and asked if he would like to come to his place. It slipped his mind that Levi's hours were different, working at the video store.

Levi agreed, though. As long as Erwin didn't mind waiting for him to get off work, he would gladly come to his place. Erwin wondered if it was just his imagination. It took Levi a while to reply to his text. He could have just been busy at work, or he was a little nervous about finally seeing what his house was like.

There was a big difference between a house and an apartment. It was something that made the gap in their careers look wider, and it made Erwin feel guilty, but there was nothing he could do about that. As if it were any consolation, he decided not to go back home after work, leaving his house in the same condition it was in when he left that morning, and headed straight to the place where Levi worked after he left.

It was the first time he visited the video rental store. He parked his car on the street it was on, but it took him a bit of walking to figure out where it was located. Snuggled in between an old, family-run deli and a hobby shop was Film Reel Life, the proudly antiquated video store. If the worn sign above the awning weren't enough to tell him that he'd found the right place, he also noticed a familiar figure in the shop's front window.

With an intense look of concentration, Levi balanced on his tiptoes with a spray bottle of window cleaner in one hand, and a white cloth in the other, briskly waxing circles around a stubborn smudge on the window. It seemed that he hadn't noticed him watching yet, but that changed when Erwin stepped inside, his presence announced by the hollow jangle of bells from above the door. Noticing who entered, Levi looked down at the bottle in his hand and slowly lowered himself back down onto his heels.

"I think that smudge is on the outside," Erwin observantly noted.

Looking back at the window, Levi tilted his head to the side and paced around from left to right until he nodded in agreement. He shoved the cloth into the front pocket of the blue apron he was wearing and tossed the bottle under the desk behind him, beneath the register.

"Well, whatever," he said, shrugging. "Slow day. Not like I had anything better to do."

Erwin took that moment as his opportunity to look around the store. It was just a small place, so he could see most of it from where he stood. Tall rows of shelves packed with VHS tapes were surrounded by a perimeter of even more shelves. Toward the back, he noticed a sign hanging above an open door that said, in all-caps, "ADULT". All of the tapes looked so dated and used, he would have expected the store to carry a musty scent, but Levi's meticulous cleaning must have been to thank for the lack of it.

"It's really quiet in here," he said, turning back to Levi. "Are you the only one here?"

"Manager's in the back, so I'm not alone. There were two boys who walked in here a while ago, though... I've got a fine guess where they're hiding."

Erwin looked back at the conspicuous adult room.

"Two boys, huh? Did they look old enough to go in there?"

Levi grinned and took a seat at the desk so he could rest his chin in his hands. "Yeah, well. If a couple of teenage boys come into a place like this to browse around instead of looking up any of the cheap amateur shit they could find on their computers at home, I feel like I can cut them a little slack. Vintage pornography is an acquired taste. I can respect that."

It wasn't really a matter of respect. Was the manager aware that Levi let kids waltz into the adult section unattended like that?

"You said they came in a while ago. How long is 'a while ago?'" Erwin asked.

Levi lifted his wrist, realized he wasn't wearing a watch, then spun around to look at the analog clock hanging on the wall near the entrance. "...About ten minutes ago," he said. "If they take more than five minutes, that's when I usually go check to make sure nothing freaky's happening back there. I guess I'm a bit overdue. You wanna go break up the party with me?"

"What?"

"Alright, let's go," Levi said, hopping off the tall stool. Rounding the front desk, he walked slowly down the far aisle, waiting for Erwin to follow. Standing outside the adult room, Levi lifted a fist to his mouth and loudly cleared his throat. "I'll give you two until the count of three to zip your pants before I come in, alright?"

That was unusually courteous of him.

Coming from inside the room, Erwin heard two surprised voices and heard a lot of frantic jangling and rustling, confirming what Levi had suspected.

Before Levi could reach 'three', two very red, flustered teenage boys stumbled out of the room, adjusting their clothes. They glanced up at them with startled faces before laughing like nervous idiots and ran out of the store, occasionally tripping over their own sagging pants.

"You see?" Levi said, turning around with a very matter-of-fact nod. "I enjoy what I do. It's always quiet here, the regulars are some nice folks, and the most difficult task I face is having to shoo a few hormonal kids out of the porn section. It's not bad."

It did seem like a job that Levi had full command over. He could only wonder what his mysterious manager was like, to be in charge of such a laid-back, niche business.

Erwin took a few steps inside the room the two boys had been occupying a moment before and took a look around. Levi followed him in and started straightening the things on the shelves.

"I wonder what they were so interested in in here," Erwin said, his eyes roaming over the rows of tapes from decades past. "The women on the covers of these have such big hair... Hair everywhere, really. You really don't see people looking like this anymore, do you? These all look like real people."

"I know what they were looking at," Levi said, proudly holding up an ancient-looking clam shell box. "I know where everything goes and this one got moved."

Coming closer, Erwin took the box from him. He turned it over to read the cover and was immediately shocked by its title. "'The Taming of Adam?' Is this... gay porn? They made gay porn back then?"

"Of course they did," Levi said, snatching the box back, turning it over to view the back cover and description with a glow of admiration in his eyes. "This video's got history. Its main star, Adam Hardy, was the first man to ever lose his anal virginity on film – in our country, at least. It was a big deal when it came out. It shows the whole thing in full, graphic detail, not like the shit you see now that glosses over the realities of gay sex. It was an important statement for the time."

"Did it inspire you?" Erwin asked, letting out a chuckle. "Actually, since I don't have much planned tonight, why don't we check this one out? We can watch it at my place."

"You have a VHS player...?" Levi asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

Erwin sighed. "I'm older than you, you know. Yes, I have a VHS player."

Levi tried to keep a neutral expression, but Erwin could tell that he was pleased.

He made the mistake of looking at his bare wrist again before asking what time it was. When he told him, Levi immediately pulled off his apron and flew out of the room, disappearing through another door at the back of the store, then reemerging a moment later with his coat on and the clam shell still in hand. Erwin heard the voice of an old man say good night and Levi quickly returned it from over his shoulder. Skidding behind the register, he scanned the video, opened it to stick a slip inside, and then stood in front of the door as if he were the one who'd been waiting.

Levi acted a little skittish during the ride to his house. Taking notice, Erwin felt his own heartbeat quicken anxiously, worried about what Levi would think of his house. It was a fairly modest place, but a whole house felt too big for just one person. Most of the time, he wasn't even there – especially now that he kept visiting Levi. If things kept on as they were, he was going to forget what it even looked like before long.

As he stepped out of the car, Erwin was hesitant to even look at Levi, afraid to find out what he thought by reading his face. He reached the door before Levi to get it unlocked and tried to keep his nerves calm as he allowed him inside. The sound of his pulse in his ears was louder than the door as it shut behind him.

Levi crept into the foyer, glancing around before casually sliding off his shoes. His head stayed down, looking at the place where he put them, then looked toward the bottom of the door, turned around, and followed the edge of the wall all the way to the second floor stairs in front of him.

"Salt," he said, his nose wrinkling.

Erwin followed where he looked, noticing that, yes, there was quite a bit of white salt stuck around his door from when he'd tried to clear the snow around the front steps. He knew it didn't look good like that, but it was just a seasonal thing. He planned to clean it eventually.

"How long did you intend to leave it like that?" Levi asked.

That darkly calm tone of voice scared him. "I don't know. I'm busy, you know. Haven't had much time to get to something like that yet."

Besides, he intentionally left things the way they were so that Levi wouldn't feel intimidated. Perhaps that had backfired...

"You're going to ruin your shoes if you leave salt around like that. It spreads everywhere. Your shoes are leather, aren't they? They'll crack."

He hadn't realized what he had started. What was intended to be a romantic night turned into a night of intensive cleaning. He showed Levi around his kitchen and showed him to his supply closet where he kept his broom, buckets, and various cleansers. His closet apparently wasn't up to Levi's standards, but he still managed with a bucket and some sponges. With his work slacks rolled up to his knees, Erwin got on the floor with him and spent the first hour of their evening turning the landing into a much cleaner, neater place.

Just when he thought they might be finished, Levi dove back into the closet for a duster and acquainted himself with every dust-covered surface in his living room. Before he knew it, it was dark out and Levi was still busily rearranging and straightening his things. By the time he was finally satisfied with the living room, it was well into late evening and Erwin's stomach was starting to cramp from hunger.

"Are you done now?" Erwin asked when he noticed Levi pausing, looking around at the living room with a thoughtful look. He hoped that he didn't sound irritated. His stomach was to blame.

Levi nodded, peeling off the dirty duster sleeve, retreating to his laundry room to toss it into the hamper. He already knew where that was. It was... astounding. He seemed to have a very specific set of priorities.

He came back looking a little guilty, his chin tilted toward his chest. "Sorry," he said softly. "I... Can I use your shower now? I got pretty dusty and I was all over the floor, so..."

Quirk or something more obsessive, Erwin wasn't too concerned by it at the moment. It sounded like there was something else he wanted to say, but he couldn't quite get it out the way he wanted. This was a new situation for Levi, so Erwin could forgive him for his impulses. It wasn't like he was interrupting any super plans or anything anyway.

Before Levi could climb the stairs to shower, he called after him, holding up the phone and asked, in an embarrassingly desperate voice, if he could call for Chinese to save them from further hassle.

The food was quick, arriving before Levi even came out of the shower. Erwin took that time to figure out how to plug his old VHS player up to his new TV, getting extremely frustrated more than once before realizing how simple it had been all along. Sensing that Levi would be out soon, he dimmed the lights in the living room and brought out some plates for their food in an attempt to make things look at least marginally more romantic before he got back. At last, with a deep sigh, he sunk into the couch to wait.

He turned around, almost dropping the TV remote when he saw Levi walk in, toweling his hair, wearing one of the white, button-down shirts he wore for work.

"Oh yeah, I hope you don't mind. I didn't feel like putting my other clothes back on and I saw this sitting around so." Levi paused, eyes narrowing at him. He must have noticed the way he was trying to avert his eyes, tempted to stare at his bare legs. "You can ogle me. That's why I put this on."

"I thought you said it was because you didn't want put your other clothes back on yet."

"Just testing to see if you could hear me," Levi said with a small smirk.

True. His brain function slowed with each step Levi took toward the couch. The shirt was just long enough to cover him, but every movement he made threatened to expose a precious glimpse of what was underneath. He couldn't quite tell if he was wearing anything underneath there... Levi told him that it was alright for him to stare, so he shouldn't feel guilty if he kept his eyes there for a little longer...

"Oh, the food's here," Levi said, sniffing the air. He sunk down into the cushion next to Erwin and began rooting through the various carryout boxes on the table in front of them, looking for what he told Erwin to order for him. As he leaned forward, Erwin's eyes carefully watched the shirt slide up, revealing more and more of his thigh until he was sure that Levi wasn't wearing anything underneath.

How was he supposed to eat with a boner...?

They were going to put in that old porn video of Levi's, so at least he had another excuse if he needed it.

Levi grabbed the remote from nearby and turned on the TV, then got up with the video to put it into the player. Erwin made himself avoid looking as Levi bent over to put it in, but his mind decided to fill in all of the details for him, whether he looked or not. He was glad that he plugged it in before Levi got back, because he seemed impressed with the way he had everything set up. The tape started, Levi came back to the couch and started rolling up the shirt's long sleeves, getting ready to dig into his food.

The video had the direct opposite effect on his boner than Erwin had expected. When Levi said that it showed the realities of gay sex in 'graphic detail', he hadn't realized how graphic he meant. There were parts that really showed the age of the video that got some good laughs out of both of them, at least.

Before Erwin realized it, he became so engrossed in the video that he completely finished his box of Chinese. Next to him, Levi looked wiped out already after just half of his box, rubbing his stomach with a satisfied look on his face.

Things had gone much better than he thought they would. His first impression, that he didn't have to try hard to impress Levi, must have been correct after all. Their day together felt like any other day, and it was comfortable. It was familiar, and fine just the way it was. If he could spend every day like this, with the warmth of Levi beside him...

"You know, I got this place thinking that I would have people over all the time," Erwin said during a lull in the video's action. "I don't know what I was thinking, though. I've never been that social. It's kind of depressing when it's just me here."

Levi looked up, holding his box with both hands. "It's a nice place as long as you keep it clean."

Erwin laughed. "Now you know my secret; that I'm too busy to clean it. I'm just one person, anyway. It would take me too long to clean it all by myself."

Levi looked down at his box and slowly started closing the flaps on top to seal it. "Are you... saying that you need me here to clean your house for you?"

That wasn't quite it, but he could tell that Levi was joking. Though, the sudden cleaning spree had made a difference that he was quite grateful for now that he wasn't starving.

"Actually, I was wondering if you have any plans for Christmas. I'm going to be at my parents' for Christmas Eve, but I don't have any real plans for Christmas day. I suppose I could go back to my parents' house again because some other family will be there for Christmas, but I haven't decided yet..."

"Your parents, huh..."

Was there something wrong with that? "Are you visiting family then?"

For a second, he could've sworn he saw something dark flash across Levi's distant expression, but it was immediately replaced by a grin. "Don't have any," he said.

"What do you mean? You don't have any family in the city or..."

"Don't have any. Like, I'm on my own. My parents died when I was little and I never got close to the rest of my family. My grandmother on my mother's side took care of me until she died. That's all there is to it." He turned toward him, hesitantly meeting his eyes. "But, look, don't get bent out of shape about that. It was a long time ago. It doesn't bother me. So don't worry about it."

It didn't really sound like it didn't bother him, but Erwin wasn't going to press it.

It was still probably way too soon to take Levi to meet his parents, especially on Christmas Eve, but if he had no one to spend Christmas with, then it seemed that Erwin had plans after all.

"We'll spend Christmas together."

"Don't say something like that just because you feel sorry for-"

"I don't," he said. Quickly realizing how that sounded, he said, "I mean that I'm not saying that because of what you just told me. I already planned to ask you to spend Christmas with me. If you think it's too soon for us to spend a holiday together, then we don't have to, but I thought I'd ask."

Levi's fingers drummed on the sides of the carryout box. His eyes remained down, ignoring what was on the TV, avoiding looking at Erwin.

First taking a deep breath, Erwin said, "You're important to me now, Levi. It's not unreasonable for me to want to spend a special day of the year with someone special to me, is it?"

Levi finally leaned forward to put the box on the table, then placed his hands on his knees.

"I'm sorry," he said suddenly. "About before, I mean. I was nervous, coming here for the first time, so I needed something to distract me, so I- I went crazy and started cleaning everything."

"It's fine," Erwin said slowly, unable to figure out why he was apologizing for that now.

Finally, Levi turned to look at him. There were rings under his eyes, darkening them, making him look tired. Whatever he was thinking about must have been exhausting. "I'm not used to being special to someone, I guess," he said quietly.

Erwin couldn't help but smile at his honest response. Setting his box down on the table next to Levi's, he scooted closer to him until their thighs touched. Careful not to startle him further, he slowly put his arm around Levi's shoulders.

"Am I special to you, too?" he asked, leaning close to nudge his forehead against Levi's.

And received a light headbutt in return. "Shut up. Don't say stupid shit like that," Levi scoffed. "...Of course you are. I feel like you've been special to me for a really, really long time."

A long time...

From somewhere in their past to far into the future, Erwin would be glad if he could always remain special to someone like Levi.


	2. Family Movies

"So what are your folks like, anyway?" Levi asked, his chin nestled comfortably on Erwin's chest.

Surprised by Levi's sudden question, the fingers scratching behind Levi's ear paused as Erwin thought. "What makes you ask something like that? Are you saying that you want to meet my parents?"

With Levi, a question was never just a question. There was usually another meaning to be gleaned from somewhere in between his words. As suspicious as he was regarding what he asked, though, Levi looked rather serious. He turned his head, placing his cheek against Erwin's chest, and Erwin went back to idly running his fingers through his hair as he waited for him to give him more.

He gave a small, tired shrug. "Can't I just be curious?"

No, even curiosity was not begotten without reason. At least Levi could sense his skepticism.

"Fine," Levi said, giving him a weakly stoked glare. "I know that I'm probably going to have to meet them eventually, so I want to know what's in store for me. Happy? I want you to tell me how much they're going to hate me. Hell, they don't even know about me. I bet they'll be real happy to find out that you're going to spend Christmas with another man instead of with them."

"Actually, I called my mom on Saturday morning after you left and told her all about you."

Levi continued to stare, his face progressively losing its color. "Excuse me?"

"Yeah, and she told my dad while I was still on the phone, too, so you don't have to worry about it. They already know about you," Erwin said. He thought that telling him that might help Levi relax, but it seemed to be making him even more agitated. Just to make sure he understood what he was trying to say, he said, "They won't hate you."

They really weren't the kind of people Levi must have been imagining. Levi said that his parents died when he was young, but Erwin still couldn't help but wonder what kind of upbringing he must have had to have the kinds of concerns he had. Of course, his mother enjoyed entertaining the thought of grandchildren, but they never made that seem like an obligation. She just wanted him to find someone nice. True, Levi probably wasn't what she had in mind when she said that, but the way that he talked about Levi on the phone seemed to have convinced her that they were a good match.

His father had opinions, but he figured that he would approve of Levi if he made the right first impression.

"They'll like you," he said, stroking his hand over Levi's head, running it down his neck to lightly rub his shoulders. "Before you know it, they'll be treating you like part of the family."

Levi's shoulders tensed beneath his hands. Had what he said bothered him somehow?

"What is it?" Erwin asked.

He had that deeply ponderous look. Nervously, he chewed his lip, then said, "I have a tape."

"Another old porn video?" Erwin asked, unsure why he would be bringing up something like that at a time like this; especially unsure of why it made him look so hesitant.

Pushing himself up onto one elbow on the bed, Levi properly issued him an incredulous look. "Idiot. That's not what I'm talking about." He continued to glare at him, and Erwin returned his heat with his own cool stare. Slowly, Levi started to relax like always, slumping until he was back to resting against his chest like before. "It's one from my grandmother."

"Like a home movie?" Erwin provided curiously.

He nodded. "Yeah... My aunt – my mom's sister – she never approved of my dad, apparently. So, when the two of them died, she didn't want to have anything to do with me. She took a whole bunch of stuff from our house and destroyed a lot more when no one else was around. I knew what she did because I knew what was missing, but I was just a kid, so no one listened to me."

"Your grandmother was her mother, right? Wasn't there anything she could do?"

Levi closed his eyes. "Anything my aunt did was nothing compared to what my grandmother did. She took care of me. Nothing could soothe the betrayal my aunt felt. Still..."

"She took something important to you," Erwin finished, sensing where this had been heading. He rested a hand back on Levi's shoulder and gave it a light squeeze.

"All of our family videos," he said. "I don't know if she destroyed them, but my grandmother never found them. I have a couple picture albums, but there was something about those home movies... Just knowing that she'd taken them away from me, it felt like someone had taken my parents from me all over again. I'd never see them smiling again... Never hear their voices again..."

All of that, he said with an unusual calmness, as if he were reciting lines from a script. When he opened his eyes, Erwin realized that he hadn't been unaffected by his own story. The surface of his eyes wavered with a fragile shimmer that begged to be freed with a blink.

Tightly, he shut his eyes again.

"You said you had a tape, though," Erwin said, unable to help his curiosity. If he had a tape, then he must have found one of them at some point.

"It was from my grandmother," he said. "She gave it to me while I was in high school and pretended like she'd just found it. Pretty sure she was just holding onto it until she thought I was old enough to accept it. It's one she recorded. Apparently it's got me, my mom, and my dad on it from when I was really little. Might've even been from right after I came home from the hospital."

Baby Levi... If Levi still had this tape, then Erwin now had his own personal interest in it.

Going back to rubbing circles around Levi's back, he asked, "You've watched it?"

"No," he said, to Erwin's surprise.

Silence followed, and he attempted to piece together what Levi was trying to tell him. First, he suddenly mentioned that he had a tape, then said that he never watched it. It didn't seem like there was much to connect the thoughts until Erwin remembered how they'd arrived at this tangent. Something made Levi stop when he told him that his parents would welcome him, treating him like a part of the family.

Staying by him, inviting him to his house, watching Levi slowly warm to a life that included him in it, Erwin realized something.

Like a cat that'd lost its owner, Levi was hesitant to begin a life outside of the one that ended when his parents died.

"You can keep the present on a tape," Levi said. "I've heard that if they invent time travel, you'll only be able to go forward in time because time is always moving forward. You can't make it reverse. That's why, I guess. That's why I haven't watched the tape."

If he put it in the player, the present that was preserved on it would become the past from the moment he hit play.

"Watch it," Erwin said.

He couldn't figure out why else Levi would have brought it up. He needed someone to tell him. If it stayed in his hands, his life would be paused forever, ending when the film became faded.

"Tapes weren't made for recording the present. They're a time capsule. You record things with your family so that you can fondly remember the past. I'm sure that was why your grandmother let you have the tape. If it's as old as you say, then she probably wanted you to see your parents the way that she remembered them."

Letting out a shaky sigh, Levi's eyes closed again. Erwin felt his body relax as he exhaled his tension.

"Alright," he said, as simple as that, but it wasn't that simple. He looked up at him with that familiar twist between his brows. "If I bring it over sometime, will you watch it with me?"

He was the one who told him to watch the tape, so he had no right to refuse. Besides, he still hoped that he would get to see what Levi looked like when he was a baby.

Smiling gently, he gave him a nod. He put both hands under Levi's arms and hoisted him up, dragging him up until Levi's chin rested on his shoulder. Wrapping both arms around him, he kissed his cheek and held him tightly.

"As long as you live in the present, we'll always be heading toward the future," he said, listening to Levi's breathing evening as he held him. "Together."

He felt Levi smile against his neck.

"When you put it like that, I guess we're all time travelers."


	3. Archive

As promised, Levi brought the tape with him the next time he visited.

He tried to hand it to him, but Erwin pointed at the VHS player and told him to put it in himself, acting like he was just too lazy to move from the couch. Levi's hesitation was apparent, but in front of Erwin, he was unable to stall any longer. The player greedily gobbled the tape and buzzed with life, reading the film that hadn't been viewed in years. Levi hurried back to the couch with the remote in his hand and took a seat.

He was right there next to him with nary a few inches to separate them, but the space between them seemed immeasurable. Levi was in his own place as he stared at the screen.

The shaking lines of static and feedback cleared, and the first thing Erwin noticed was the date and timestamp at the top of the video, displayed in yellow, digital print.

"This was taken on Christmas?" Erwin said, taking a glance at Levi.

He was still somewhere else, paying close attention, his world the screen.

It was exactly what Levi told him he thought it would be. His grandmother's tape, full of memories from his younger years, began with his birth. A small, fragile-looking woman with black hair laid in a hospital bed, cradling the newborn Levi. She was beaming proudly, laughing in what could have been relief, tears streaming down her face. Nearby, a tall man with a grumpy face tried to remain out of the frame as a female voice behind the camera insisted that he come closer, to celebrate the moment with them on camera.

Erwin looked at Levi again. "Is that date right? Were you really born on Christmas?"

"Are you gonna make a big deal out of it?"

It was kind of a big deal, so he was tempted. He already planned to spend Christmas with Levi, so it was something of a shock that he hadn't bothered to tell him that his birthday was on the same day. Now he was going to have to get him another gift.

He decided not to pester him about it. At the moment, he needed to pay attention to the video, curious to learn what he could of the family he was never going to be able to meet. His heart constricted with the thought. By the tight expression on Levi's face, he likely shared that thought with him.

After a few minutes, the film jarred and changed to a new scene. Taken a few months later, it showed Levi's father, asleep on what Erwin presumed to be the living room floor with baby Levi sleeping on his chest. It turned out that a broad, warm chest had always been Levi's favorite place to lay his head.

A pair of slippered feet slowly crept into the frame. Kneeling down, his mother poked her head into the frame and waved at the camera with a smile. She and Levi's grandmother giggled quietly as they watched the two sleep. They must have been just a little too loud, because his father began to stir, which jostled baby Levi enough to make him whimper and start crying. His father jolted awake and the two women immediately began doing their best to comfort the crying child, leaving Levi's father dazed and ignored. Picking up Levi, his mother disappeared from the frame, and, as the camera continued to roll, Levi's father rolled over onto his side and fell back asleep.

"I see the resemblance," Erwin told him. "You have your father's eyes and your mother's... height."

Levi finally turned around to look at him. The whole time so far, he looked on the verge of breaking down, but Erwin's absurd observation was just humorous enough to make him laugh. He probably wouldn't have laughed at something like that at any other time, but he needed it now.

His eyes softened, and Erwin saw something of his mother in him; delicate and sentimental. Levi moved closer, bringing his feet up onto the couch, leaning himself against Erwin's side. Erwin wrapped an arm around his shoulders, letting him rest his head against his chest as they continued watching the rest of the video. He didn't know how much was left, but he wanted to see as much as he could, to see into a time before he and Levi met each other.

A little later, they came to New Years Eve. The Christmas tree was still set up in the living room, and Levi's mother sat in front of it, holding him in her arms. For the first time in the whole video, from off-camera, they heard his father's voice. He felt Levi jump a little beneath his arm when he spoke, so, clearly, Erwin wasn't the only one who had been surprised to hear him.

Levi had his eyes, but he also shared his voice. The two of them sounded nearly identical.

_"You've got it recording?"_ he asked Levi's grandmother, making sure that it was on before stepping into the frame to sit down next to his mother.

His mother looked at the camera and waved for his grandmother to come around it. It must have been resting on a tripod. With a little bit more fiddling and slight movements of the camera, his grandmother was able to leave it for the moment and came around it to sit down next to them. Complaining about the pain it gave her back, they all shared a laugh and agreed to make this recording a short one.

Looking into the lens, his mother addressed whoever was watching.

_"This has been a very important, special year for us. It was a difficult pregnancy, so I feel like it's a miracle that Levi is here with us now and in good health. I think that's all we could ever really hope for. Our family is complete now."_

Levi's father looked aside as she talked, reminding Erwin of the look Levi got whenever he was thinking about something unpleasant. He was happy, though. He could tell.

_"Go on, say something,"_ his mother said, nudging him with her elbow. The baby in her arms squealed and she quickly apologized and rocked him gently.

His father nodded mutely and lifted his head to look up at the camera. _"What's the point of these videos anyway..."_

_"You were the one who wanted to make sure it was recording!"_ she said, exasperated. _"Don't try to pretend like you don't care."_

Grumbling, he nudged her back and once again regarded the lens.

_"Levi."_ He glanced at his wife to make sure that she wasn't going to make fun of him for addressing their son who wasn't even a year old yet. _"If... If I'm the same way in the future as I am now, then I probably won't have told you a lot about myself. Sorry. The thing is... I didn't have much of a family. I didn't realize how important it was to me until I met your mother."_

She smiled and leaned against him.

_"If you're anything like me, I hope you can meet someone like your mother; someone who will help you make your own family. Of course, we'll never forget about you. This tape will probably be around forever, so if you're watching this way, way later, even after we're gone, or after you've moved on, then I hope you know that we'll never forget about you. We'll always be your family."_

_"Thank you for making us a family, Levi!" _his mother said cheerfully. _"Merry Christmas! Happy birthday! Happy New Year!"_

The three of them laughed together and only began laughing harder when the baby in his mother's arms started making fussy noises, mad that they were getting too loud for him.

As the tape descended into another few seconds of grain and static, Erwin gently took the remote from Levi's loose fingers and hit pause before they could reach the next part. He didn't have to look down, didn't have to see his face to understand the way that their words had affected him. He could feel the hand around his waist tightly clutching the fabric of his shirt, felt the slight tremble in his shoulders.

His parents seemed like such good people. It was hard to imagine why his aunt would have had a grudge against such a kind and loving person. Levi's father looked like someone who would have done anything to protect his son's happiness. Even now, Erwin was sure that he was watching out for him, together with his mother.

As long as their feelings remained strong inside of Levi, their memory and their wishes would be carried with him into the future.

"Erwin."

He looked down at him, but Levi had his nose pressed to his chest, so he still couldn't see his face. Dipping his head, he pressed his lips against the top of Levi's head and tightened the arm around him.

"I think they would've liked you," he said.

Yeah, he got that feeling, too. He was glad that he met Levi, glad that he could be the person his father hoped he would meet.

"I hope so," Erwin said, gently pressing another kiss against Levi's forehead. "I'll do my best to make sure that they have nothing to worry about."

Erwin carefully got up, moving Levi along with him as he relocated to the end of the couch where he could lay down, bringing Levi on top of him. Like that, he really reminded him of the Levi in the video; small and delicate. He knew that Levi was strong despite outward appearances, but there was a side of him that needed to be treated gently. Being aware of that part of him, Erwin felt all the more that he was the one who was meant to be with Levi, to protect that unseen side of him.

Levi was probably still thinking heavily about what they just watched, but as the quiet pressed on, his eyelids began to droop. He rested an ear over Erwin's heart and let his eyes close.

"I'm glad your grandmother still had this video," Erwin said, keeping his voice light. He stroked his fingers lightly down the curve of Levi's back, resting his hand on his hip. "You were a very cute baby. And so tiny. Your dad looked like a giant compared to you."

Levi's eyes opened just so he could let him know that he didn't want to hear any cute comments about his younger self's cuteness.

"I was afraid that he was going to roll over in his sleep and squash you."

To punish him for making lame comments, Levi lifted himself up and let his full weight fall back down on top of Erwin, forcing all of the air out of him.

"I wake up sometimes with _you_ on top of _me_. We'll see who's going to squash who now," Levi said, a playful challenge in his voice.

Not one to be outdone, Erwin accepted that challenge, grabbing Levi by the waist, and used his size to his advantage to roll them over until he had Levi pinned beneath him on the couch. Looking down at him, seeing the way that he was smiling in a way he'd never seen before, Erwin felt something. Surely, he'd never seen Levi with such an expression before, his heart freed from the restraints of the past, but there was something about what he saw that gave him that unusual, nostalgic feeling again.

It was the first time he'd ever helped Levi overcome something like this, so it was impossible.

Levi's smile slowly ebbed, being replaced with a purposeful look. Folding his hands over his stomach, he looked up at Erwin, who remained over him, braced on his hands.

"What is it?" Erwin asked.

After a soft exhale, Levi closed his eyes. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I..." He paused. It was like the words he intended to say just didn't exist. "I just have a feeling about you."

A feeling.

It was something like that.


	4. In Focus

On Christmas Eve, in an attempt to seek a minute of respite from his enthusiastically attentive mother, Erwin ducked into his old bedroom on the second floor. The room felt like a time warp, preserved in almost the exact state that it had been left in when he moved out. His mother kept it clean, dusting the shelves and furniture, vacuuming the carpet, but everything was left the way he remembered it. They could have turned it into a guest room. He wasn't sure what kind of sentimentalism drove her to keep it the same when she could have done any other number of things with it.

Yet, for as familiar as it was, it didn't give him the same kind of feeling that he got whenever he was with Levi.

He couldn't understand why a room that he'd spent years of his life in would feel less nostalgic than a relationship he'd only just established. The room held many important memories for him, but were little memories. If there were a greater scheme that had yet to be discovered, nestled somewhere between the memories in his head and the ones in his heart, then...

If memory was like the sky, he thought, then Levi was the north star. Little memories were made, shone brightly, then disappeared, but maybe there was one that always existed, even before he could remember.

After watching that family video with Levi, he'd realized how unreliable his own memory was. If he were to watch one of his own old family videos, some things would probably be very different from what he remembered. A camera, without bias, would record what it saw. A person's eyes, tinted by the lens of emotion, would record what they felt.

He had an absurd thought.

What if a tape existed, somewhere in the word, that he and Levi made together? What if there were a record of them somewhere, preserved by unbiased history?

It was just an absurd thought, though. He wasn't prone to thinking such whimsical things.

Aware that he wasn't going to be able to leave his parents' house until late, he decided to give Levi a call. He wasn't going to feel right if he went all of Christmas Eve without seeing him or talking to him.

Levi picked up, sounding like he was still in bed, despite it being noon. Apparently he thought it was lame of him to wish him a 'happy birthday's eve'. He thought he was being pretty clever with that, but Levi told him that he'd heard it before and would be happy if he never had to hear anyone tell him that one ever again. His grumpy, just-woken-up voice was too cute for Erwin to take him seriously, though.

He told him that he would probably be there for most of the night, adding that his mother had been sad that he hadn't brought Levi with him. By the judgmental look his father sent him, he got a feeling that it had been wiser to wait instead. Even if he were dating a woman, he knew that his father would be hard to please, and he would rather wait until Levi felt more comfortable with meeting them.

Tonight, he said. He wanted to have Levi over at his house, to be there with him at midnight when the hands of the clock pointed to the sky, when the bells chimed in the holy holiday, making Levi one year older.

The other side of the call was silent for a while, and Erwin worried that he may have sounded too emotional. Levi acted like he didn't want to be treated specially, but this was just one of those things. Erwin imagined that he would have felt alone if no one were there with him, even if he didn't say it.

At last, Levi had responded, agreeing with Erwin's plans.

Good, Erwin thought. Very good, because he had further plans that he hadn't mentioned – plans that made him feel very awkward in the presence of his parents. Just thinking about what he planned to do made him feel like his thoughts were being broadcasted. More than once, he must have gotten so caught up that his mother had to ask if he was alright. He'd never been a particular help in the kitchen, but his distraction made him especially useless.

He trusted Levi more than enough now, so he figured it was about time that he finally gave Levi what he'd been begging him for.

They weren't just strangers now. That night was a night they experienced more than once.

After dinner and more cookies than Erwin thought himself capable of consuming, the busy atmosphere around the house finally began to quiet down. His mother looked sad that he was leaving already, but he promised that he would come back and bring Levi with him sometime soon. His father still had that look, but she was happy enough with that promise. She hurried to gather his coat and things from his old room, and, when she returned, she wrapped his scarf around his neck and threw her arms around him as well.

He was anxious to see Levi, but he was thankful for this; the warmth of home, the feelings of family. He was fortunate to have such a life. His family was in good health, he had a secure job, and now, just like Levi's parents had said in that tape, it was all complete with Levi.

He called Levi on his way to his apartment and waited in the car outside the building for him until he was ready. When he got in the car, Levi argued that he could have driven himself, that he didn't have to make a special trip just for him.

During the ride to his house, he asked Levi how his day had been.

Levi said that it was boring.

His response made Erwin feel stupid for even asking, but at least he hadn't been with him at his parents' house to experience the full force of his mother's attention on Christmas Eve. If he'd been there, he probably would have had double the cookies shoved in his face with extra to take home.

He'd gone straight from his family's house to get Levi, so he hadn't had the chance to prepare anything special, but at least now he knew that he didn't need to try. As long as he didn't leave any dirty dishes out, he didn't have to worry about Levi getting distracted by another sudden cleaning fit, either. It would just be him, Levi, maybe a bottle of wine, and one long, romantic night...

As soon as they got inside and closed the door behind them, Levi turned to him with his eyes narrowed. Before he could ask him what that look meant, he found out.

With a lot more strength than Erwin would have expected from a person of Levi's size, he was pushed back against the wall. They hadn't even left the foyer yet and Levi had his hands all over him, swiftly divesting him of his coat, nearly choking Erwin with his scarf in his haste to remove it. Faster than his eyes were able to follow, Levi unbuttoned half of his shirt and shoved his cold hands inside to grope his chest as he attacked his throat with his mouth.

"Levi, what-"

He continued to bite and suck along his neck, so engrossed in what he was doing that he must not have even heard him. His rough, impatient attentions felt shockingly good, but it was all so sudden that Erwin couldn't help but be surprised, unsure what had happened to ignite this fire. It was a lot better than the time that Levi stopped them in the foyer and made them clean the whole house, but it was no less unexpected.

The landing wasn't the best place for this, and it certainly wasn't how he had planned for them to spend their night together, so he had to do something to capture Levi's attention.

He placed his hands on Levi's shoulders, solid, hoping that it would make him pause. Levi just groaned instead, and grabbed one of Erwin's hands and relocated it to his backside as he raised himself up onto his toes to wrap his arms around his shoulders. His attempt to make him stop had backfired so badly that Erwin was tempted to laugh, but it just made him more certain that he had to do something before they ended up doing it there on the stairs.

"Levi," he tried again, shocked by how affected his voice sounded.

That must have done it. Levi backed up, settling down onto his feet as he looked up at him, his hands still resting on Erwin's shoulders. His lips looked red, shining a little redder underneath the light of the Christmas lights Erwin strung around the ceiling.

He cursed his oversight – he should have hung some mistletoe as well.

It wouldn't help them get to the bedroom any sooner, but he couldn't help himself when Levi looked so delectable. Grasping his chin between a few fingers, he angled Levi's head and leaned down to touch their lips together in a slow, sensual kiss. Levi's fingers loosened in the grip they had on his shirt and Erwin saw that as his chance. In one quick maneuver, he hoisted Levi into his arms.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Levi sputtered, pushing at his arms, unconcerned about what might happen if Erwin dropped him.

"That's what I wanted to ask you," Erwin said. "What did you think we were going to do here in front of the door?"

"I wanna fuck," he said, face flushed, voice serious.

That was the expected answer, but that didn't stop Erwin from feeling caught off guard by his forwardness. "I... figured that was what you were after. You couldn't wait until we at least reached the living room? Even the couch would be more comfortable than the stairs."

Levi sniffed. "Well. It's almost my birthday, right? You wanted to make a big deal about it, so what if I said that I wanted to fuck on every surface of the house? Hm? What then?"

"Do you really?" Erwin said skeptically. "There are a lot of uncomfortable surfaces around here. I could probably handle a decent handjob here, but anything else would be kind of..."

Why was he thinking about this so rationally? Levi was obviously trying to mess with him. The amused, satisfied grin he had on his face was enough proof of that.

"You're always so impatient... But since it's your birthday in-" Erwin strained to take a look at his watch. "Three hours. Since it's officially your birthday in only three hours, I don't think it would be right to tease you."

Levi's grin persisted. "Liar. It's because you're already hard. You wanna fuck just as bad as I do."

He hadn't entered the house with that intention, but, after Levi started climbing all over him, it wasn't like he could help the way his body reacted. They were going to end up in his bed at one point or another, but he hadn't realized that it was going to be so soon. He didn't have any problems with that, though.

Since he was conveniently already holding Levi, he started walking up the stairs with him. Finally, Levi looked paranoid that he might drop him, but Erwin felt like he had a pretty solid hold on him. A grown man was light by no means, but a man of Levi's size wasn't an unbearable load. Part of him wanted to remark on it out loud, but doing so would have risked a punch to the jaw, so he kept it in and let himself wear a silent, secretive smile instead.

Carefully traversing the dark house, he pushed open the bedroom door with a knee and slipped inside, placing Levi down on the bed when he felt his legs bump into its side. With his arms freed, he turned on the lamp next to the bed. It was bright enough to reach even the corners of the room, but still made the atmosphere feel appropriately romantic.

"Fuck, I am sweating in this thing," Levi said irritably, fumbling with the buttons on the front of his coat.

He had a real way with words. Quite a romantic. Erwin had reeled in quite the catch.

Pushing Levi's hands aside, he resumed the task for him, removing each button with ease until Levi was able to shrug it off. He would have simply tossed it aside, but after their first night together, Levi demanded that he properly fold their clothes or at least pile them together neatly. Having them strewn all over the place bothered him deeply.

So, Erwin made sure to hang Levi's coat in his closet. His own was still hanging out on the floor somewhere at the bottom of the steps. Hopefully Levi wasn't thinking about it.

When he backed out of the closet, he found that Levi had already impatiently begun removing the rest of his clothes. He wasn't so impatient that he wouldn't stop to fold them, of course. Before his hands could reach his belt, Erwin took a couple swift strides toward the bed and grabbed them, pinning them down on either side of Levi.

"Is it time to open my present?" Levi asked, looking at him hungrily.

"That depends," Erwin said, slowly running his hands up Levi's arms with a light touch, pleased to hear the way it made Levi sigh. "Have you been a good boy this year?"

"I think I've been decent. At least around company. When I'm alone, though..." He curled a hand in the front of Erwin's open shirt and pulled him closer. His eyelids lowered, his voice dipped into a sensual whisper as he looked up at him. "I've been very, very bad."

He could have seen that line coming, but damn if it didn't sound good coming from his mouth. Erwin gave him what he was asking for, grabbing the back of his head to pull them together, pushing his tongue into Levi's mouth. Levi responded enthusiastically, threading his fingers together at the back of his neck as their tongues swiped across each other. They sunk to the bed, crawling their way toward the pillows, their mouths remaining busy with each other.

Chests heaving, they parted, both of them flushed a very seasonally appropriate shade of red. Amused by his own silly observation, Erwin pressed his smile into Levi's neck, taking a deep, deserved breath as he laid light kisses against his skin. He could already feel Levi unwinding beneath him, and that was how he wanted it to be. Tonight, it was all about Levi. Whatever he wanted, he was prepared to give him.

Straightening up, holding Levi captive between his knees, he decided to make a show of things, unbuttoning the remaining buttons on his shirt with deliberate slowness. Before he even had the last button unfastened, Levi was already touching him, openly admiring what was uncovered. Erwin wouldn't have imagined that he would ever feel confident doing something like this, but he found it impossible to feel anything but confident under Levi's approving gaze. He returned Levi's attention, scraping his nails down his pale chest, dragging them over his sides, down to his waist. Reaching the top of his pants, he placed his palm over the front of them, cupping Levi's cock through the fabric.

Feeling how hard Levi was, Erwin groaned and palmed himself through his own pants. Levi took a sharp breath through his clenched teeth, lowering his eyes lustfully as he watched him. Moving in to capture his lips again, Erwin opened the front of Levi's pants enough to slide his hand inside. He grabbed him through his underwear, stroking the ridged outline of his cock as he caressed Levi's tongue with his own; a promise of the things he intended to do.

With the heady atmosphere around them as encouragement, Erwin broke from the kiss and pushed Levi's pants down along with his underwear, dragging them down his legs until he laid completely naked. Pushing a hand through his hair, Levi watched him, holding his bottom lip tensely between his teeth. While meeting his gaze, Erwin stroked his hands over every inch of Levi's body, working his way from his chest down to the sensitive skin of his thighs.

He heard Levi take in a breath as he brought his hands back to his hips. He didn't touch him yet, though. From the start, he didn't plan to make him wait, but a little bit of extra anticipation could go a long way. He had a few particular things in mind for this night, and, if the needy look that Levi already had on his face was anything to go by, then he was probably going to really enjoy what he planned.

Lowering himself over Levi, he let his breath gust over his cock, watching it twitch as he blew on the tip. Levi looked like he really wanted to say something, but he was so busy watching him that he was trapped, unable to even open his mouth.

Wetting his lips first with his tongue, he lowered his head and brushed his lips over the underside of Levi's cock, kissing and sucking until he reached the base. It had been a long time since he'd done something like this, but not so long that he would've forgotten what felt good. By the soft sighs he heard from Levi, he could tell that he was doing well so far. He made sure to keep his hands in use as well, rubbing them over his hips, over his lower stomach, dragging his nails over each protruding rib.

"Are you gonna put it in your mouth or not?" Levi asked, his patience wearing.

He was doing really well at holding it together, but Erwin could tell that he wanted to move his hips, wanted to grab his head and force his cock into his mouth.

"Is that what you want?" Erwin asked, hoping to hear him say it.

Cursing softly, Levi reached down and ran two fingers over Erwin's bottom lip. "God, Erwin," he muttered. "You're a little bit of a slut, too, aren't you?"

That... wasn't what he was expecting him to say. Erwin kind of didn't even know how to respond to that at first. However, he couldn't deny that the blood pumping loudly through his veins was telling him that he wanted to suck Levi's cock. He really wanted to do it just as much as Levi wanted him to.

Was he really waiting for Levi to beg for it?

Pushing the thoughts from his head, doing what he simply wanted to, he wrapped his lips around Levi's cock, relaxing his throat to take him all the way down in one go. Levi gasped loudly, his hands immediately flying to the back of his head to hold him in place. Erwin could feel the tip bump against the back of his throat, and his nose wrinkled as he tried to control his gag reflex. Levi must have noticed because he relaxed, loosing his grip, letting him pull back far enough to breathe.

"Sorry," he mumbled, sounding dazed. "I didn't expect you to just _do it_ like that. That was..." He trailed off as his hips began to move, distracted by Erwin's mouth.

Erwin obliged, moving his head to meet the movements of Levi's hips. As he continued to work his mouth around him, he moved his hands back to Levi's hips and ran them over his stomach to get him to lay back. Once he felt him relaxing, he placed his hands underneath Levi's knees and nudged them up, getting him to bend them, giving him more space. Feeling his lungs aching with the need for air, he slowly lifted his head, a thin line of saliva bridging the space between his lips and the head of Levi's cock as he pulled off.

"Erwin..." Levi lifted his head from the pillow to look down at him, the back of a hand resting against his forehead.

"Am I doing well so far?" he asked, nuzzling his lips against the tip as he spoke.

Levi moaned, letting his head fall back down to the pillow. "Fuck... Yeah, this is... a really good present. Exactly what I wanted."

Well, he was interested in seeing if he could find something else that Levi didn't even know that he wanted. Rubbing his thighs, he dipped his head to kiss around his cock, slowly bring his mouth lower. He wrapped a hand around Levi's cock, stroking him loosely as he moved to kiss and suck around his balls. Under his hands, he felt Levi shiver, and had the feeling that he would be pleased with where he was taking this.

Massaging the spot under them, he tentatively pressed his lips against Levi's entrance, giving him the opportunity to object if he didn't like where he was heading. It seemed impossible for Levi to misinterpret his direction.

One of Levi's hands clutched the sheets and he placed the other at the back of Erwin's neck encouragingly. Erwin rubbed his lips teasingly over him before giving him a brief, wet lick. He felt Levi jump and smiled to himself, then swirled his tongue around him the same way he would caress him with his fingers to make him relax. Eventually, after much slow coaxing, he could feel him relaxing, and he pressed his tongue against it, slowly pressing it inside of him.

Levi gasped Erwin's name and spread his legs open a little wider, inviting him to do as he wished. As Erwin worked his tongue around inside of him as far as he could, he paid attention to the changes in Levi's breathing, hearing him gradually losing more of his control as he continued to tease his entrance.

Once it felt sufficiently relaxed, he pulled up for a breath and looked at Levi with his eyes lowered.

"So, did I just find something else you enjoy?"

Levi opened his mouth, but nothing but a pitiful whimper made it past his lips at first. Embarrassed, he coughed and turned his head to the side. "Yeah, well..."

"Yeah?" Erwin asked with a laugh. He tightened the hand around Levi's cock, making him gasp. Slowly, he began to stroke him again, rubbing two fingers around his entrance at the same time. Unable to stop the words from coming out of his mouth, he asked, "Would you like to come in my mouth?"

He'd never seen that look on Levi's face before.

"Are... Are you sure?" Levi asked. His cock twitched in Erwin's hand, making his answer clear.

Erwin smirked. "Do you think you could come more than once?"

Levi looked very curious about where he was going. "Probably. Show me what you're offering and then we'll talk."

Like Levi, he now made sure to keep a stock of necessary items in his bedside table. Briefly getting up from the bed, he opened the top drawer to retrieve a tube of lubricant. It felt pretty good to stand up and finally get the pressure off his front. His cock was already fully hard and pressing against the front of his pants, begging for attention.

"God, that looks just as painful as I thought," Levi said, admiring the rather impressively large tent in his slacks. He held out a palm and curled his fingers, beckoning Erwin to come closer to where he could reach. When he came over, Levi sat up and pulled him closer by the waist of his pants and quickly worked out his button, pulled down his zipper, and tugged his cock free from his underwear. This wasn't supposed to be about him, but he had to admit that it felt very nice to finally feel Levi's hands around him. Levi stared at it, mesmerized, looking as if he were ready to blow him if he'd just let him.

"Lay back down," Erwin told him, trying to sound authoritative.

It must have worked, because Levi laid back down and obediently lifted his knees, holding his hands under them to keep them back.

Before he got back on the bed, Erwin pushed his pants down the rest of the way, groaning as the cold air hit his skin. "Part of me just wants to do all of this under the covers," he mused.

"After," Levi said. "I don't plan on leaving your bed tonight anyway."

Getting back into the position he assumed before, Erwin hovered over Levi's hips, his lips mere centimeters from touching his cock. He expected Levi to push his hips up, but he waited, the tip dripping in anticipation. Closing his eyes, Erwin ran the flat of his tongue across the head, lapping up the bit that was starting to dribble down before it could escape. He felt Levi tense for a second when he heard him open the cap of the lube. After getting his fingers slick, he placed two of them at his entrance and pushed them inside. With all of his earlier preparation, they slid in easily and he was able to move them around immediately.

Moving down from the head, Erwin left a wet trail down the underside of Levi's cock, and paused when he reached the place where his fingers joined with his body. He ran his tongue around the tight ring, stretched open by his fingers, and heard Levi give a needy moan. Levi rolled his hips, pressing himself down against his hand, hoping to receive something more.

Wrapping his other hand firmly around Levi's cock, he brought his mouth back to the head, surrounding it with the tight pressure of his lips. Levi kept his hands underneath his knees, but Erwin could feel them quivering, shaking with restrained pleasure while he assaulted the sensitive head of his cock with his tongue. Combined with the way he was moving his fingers inside of him, he knew that Levi must have been feeling an extraordinary amount of pleasure. His own cock was beginning to respond to the taste of precum that filled his mouth.

Twisting his hand, he angled his fingers, aiming to find that one spot inside of him. Levi was already losing it, clawing at the backs of his legs, trying to keep himself from thrusting up into his mouth, but Erwin knew that there was a way to really make him feel good. It took a little further searching, but his fingers eventually pressed against what he was looking for. The way that Levi cried out was all he needed to know that he'd found it.

He dipped his head lower, taking Levi into the depths of his mouth, working his fingers inside of him deeply, stabbing them into that spot as well as he could until he had Levi moaning openly and thrashing his head from side to side on the pillow. He could tell that Levi wasn't going to be able to hold on for much longer under such relentless attention, so he lifted his free hand and placed it under one of Levi's knees, directing him to place them over his shoulders. Once his hands were freed, Levi immediately fisted them in the sheets, gripping them tightly as he begged him for more.

Erwin glanced up at him, taking a glimpse of his face. With his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his teeth clenched with weak moans and gasps slipping from between them, Levi looked and sounded as close to coming as Erwin suspected. His face was red to his neck, sweat dampening his brow. He looked incredible like that; in a complete state of surrender, accepting whatever Erwin gave him, and barely able to hang on to whatever shreds of control he had left.

For a moment, he pulled off, letting go of him. Afraid that he was really going to stop there, Levi let out an undignified sound of dismay.

"You said-"

"I know," Erwin said smoothly, lightly brushing his fingers over Levi's cock, slick from his mouth. He held his eyes on Levi's until he understood that he was playing with him. Of course, he said that he wouldn't play around, but...

"That's cruel," Levi said, shifting his hips uncomfortably, looking ready to explode. Erwin realized that he must have pulled off at just the right moment; Levi was very close that time.

Nuzzling his cheek against Levi's thigh, he leaned back in to place a light kiss against the head of his cock. "I'm sorry. I promise I won't stop this time."

"Are you talking to me or my dick?" Levi asked, straight-faced.

His laugh met Levi's skin, and he took him back into his mouth, swallowing him down until Levi's voice turned into a whimper. After all of the attention he'd been paying to the head of his cock, he was sure that it must have felt especially sensitive. He flattened his tongue against the underside, caressing him with each languid bob of his head. This time, he was really working toward a goal, ready to let him come.

Erwin thrust his fingers inside of him roughly, trying to nudge the spot that made him go wild. When he felt him tightening up inside, he knew that he was getting close, could taste more of that bitter-salty taste on his tongue. He glanced up in time to see Levi's features tighten as he reached his climax. His hands stayed tangled in the sheets, his back arching and legs quivering over Erwin's shoulders as he was rocked by each wave.

After a few quiet moments filled with the sound of Levi's hard breathing, he slumped back down onto the bed, all of his limbs going limp. Erwin slid his fingers out of him and pulled up his head, then gently settled Levi's legs back down. Looking around, he pondered what to do with the warm wad of cum he currently had rolling around on his tongue. It didn't repulse him, but he wasn't exactly as adventurous as Levi had been that time.

He ended up spitting it into a tissue he grabbed from the bedside and tossed it into the trash bin nearby.

Levi noticed and gave him a lazy grin. "Not to your tastes, huh?"

Erwin shrugged. "It's not bad."

Levi stared, as if waiting for him to say more, but he really had nothing else to add. As soon as he realized, Levi laughed. "You wanted to know if I could come more than once, right? I'm interested in seeing what else you have up your sleeves." He paused. "Well... You aren't wearing a shirt right now, but you get my drift. Metaphor or some shit."

Climbing back onto the bed, Erwin snatched up the tube of lubricant and uncapped it. Unable to sit back and simply watch this time, Levi got up and grabbed the tube from him. As soon as Levi's slender fingers wrapped around his cock, Erwin took a breath, one of his hands automatically coming up to clutch Levi's opposite shoulder.

"This one was feeling left out, wasn't he?" he said, drizzling a bit of lube over the head of his cock, letting it roll down the sides before bringing his hand up to worked it around the length of it. Levi may have just came, but he already looked more than ready to hop on his dick.

Placing his other hand over the one Erwin had on his shoulder, he guided him, making him turn around so he could push him back toward the pillows. Gently, he pressed the tips of his fingers against his chest and gave him a little push backwards. Erwin assumed that he would be the one in control, but he didn't have any particular qualms against letting Levi take charge, especially on his birthday. With his head resting on the pillow, he spread out, relaxing as best as he could while he still had Levi's slick palm around his cock.

"You... aren't going to suddenly ask for a condom, are you?" Levi asked, giving him a suspicious glance.

At this point, they'd already done it bare, but Erwin had yet to come inside of him. He was sure of this now, though. There was no reason for him to keep hesitating over something that Levi clearly wanted so badly.

"It's fine," Erwin said, shaking his head. "I told you already. Tonight is about you. We're going to do this however you want."

"Erwin..."

Levi didn't waste any time. Without any further preparation, he held the tip of Erwin's cock against his entrance and slowly began to sink down on it. There was a little bit of resistance, probably still somewhat tight from his climax, but his body quickly relaxed at the familiar feeling of being penetrated by him.

"Fuck," Levi sighed, his head tipped to the side, eyes glassy. "This is the best gift. Don't let this go to your head, but I think your cock has made my year."

"Hush. You're going to make me blush," Erwin said.

Levi reached down, roughly pinched one of his nipples, and sunk down onto his cock the rest of the way for good measure.

Being suddenly surrounded by him was enough to make him stop breathing for a second. A moment later, he heard sound – a low, pitiful moan that he slowly realized was coming from his own throat. Having gone so long without touching himself, he hadn't even realized how aroused he'd become. Now, it was impossible for him to keep himself from making a sound whenever Levi moved his hips. He started slow, just rocking his hips back and forth, grinding around with Erwin buried in him as far as he could reach.

Following a pleased sigh, Levi retrieved the lube and poured a bit into his hand. As he brought up his hips, he wrapped his fingers around his cock and started a slow pace to bring himself back to arousal. It didn't take him much to get worked up again, just like he said.

As he continued to move, Levi looked down at him blearily and Erwin met his gaze. Suddenly, Levi's face reddened and he tried to look aside, but Erwin reached up and placed a hand against his cheek, getting him to turn back toward him. It seemed that Levi had also noticed the change in the atmosphere, the depth behind their eyes, and the feelings shared within them. While he had Levi looking at him, devoting all of his attention to him, he wanted to tell him how he felt about him. It was easy to get swept up in a moment like that. Erwin tried not to be a sentimental person, but he couldn't deny that Levi had changed something in him.

"Levi..." He leaned forward, placing his other hand at the back of Levi's neck to draw him nearer until he was able to press their lips together. He hoped that that was enough to communicate what he felt.

Levi's hands went to his shoulders as he returned the kiss. He nudged his forehead against Erwin's and they parted slowly.

"Levi," he said again, quietly, but before he could say anything further, Levi laid his fingers over his lips.

"Whenever we're like this," he said, "I feel like I know everything about you. That sounds weird, but... Yeah."

He knew what he meant. He knew exactly what he meant. At the simplest level, he felt like he knew everything about Levi.

He put his arms around Levi's back, pulled him closer. Instinctively, Levi's went around him as well, holding onto him as they began to move again. In such a position, Erwin found it almost impossible to pull out all the way, delivering short, deep thrusts into him. Next to his ear, he could hear Levi whimpering helplessly each time he pushed in all the way. He was right there; the perfect distance to kiss while he held him. Even though Levi looked embarrassed, there was nowhere for him to hide the open expressions of pleasure on his face.

"D-dammit," Levi muttered, clutching him more tightly. "I... Erwin... That feels so..."

Sliding one of his hands between them, Erwin grasped Levi's cock and gave him a few light strokes, pleased by how hard he'd already become. "Is that good? What would you like?"

For a moment, Levi looked aside, then looked back to him with a decisive look in his eyes. "Finish in me. Give it to me harder, and then I want you to come inside me."

As if he hadn't already had that in mind?

"Your wish is my command," he said, pressing another kiss against Levi's bottom lip.

Levi blinked. "Wait, really? You'll really do it this time?"

"I don't see why not," he replied. He moved his hands to Levi's hips and lifted them slightly to adjust their position, making it easier for him to thrust into him. All of that waiting had paid off in its own way, but it also made Erwin feel like each of his nerves were being lit on fire whenever he pushed inside of him.

"You wanna come already, don't you?" Levi said, sounding like he was urging him to do it.

If he kept thrusting into him the way that Levi wanted him to, then he was definitely going to come. Had this been any other day, he would have probably stopped already to get a hold of himself, but this was about what Levi wanted. Of course, he wanted to come, but he wished that he could extend the moment infinitely.

Levi panted loudly, rubbing himself against Erwin's stomach. His frantic movements reminded Erwin of that time they shared together after their first night, but, this time, there was nothing to stop their wild pace. Levi moved like a man possessed, rutting against him, moving desperately in search of his release.

He wanted to tell him to slow down, to take it ease, but the way he looked...

Levi had his eyes closed, his forehead pressed into his shoulder. Erwin could feel each of his hard breaths, warm and moist against his skin. His nails scratched at his back; not hard enough to pierce the skin, but just enough to make it sting, sure to leave some pink, raised reminders behind.

"Fuck," Erwin bit out, trying his hardest to keep it together as he continued to hammer into him, his thrusts becoming sloppy. He could hear the wet sounds produced between their bodies, could smell Levi so close to him, could still taste the taste of his cum lingering on his tongue. Having him right there next to him, looking so fucked-out was not helping his endurance.

"Do it," Levi growled, delirious with need. "Come in me. I want you to come in me first. I want to feel it. Please."

He didn't have to beg. Just hearing that weak plea come from Levi's lips was enough to deliver the final blow to Erwin's endurance, blindsiding him, making him come instantly. His grasp on Levi's hips tightened and he pulled him down onto his cock, pushing into him as deeply as possible. Levi pushed himself up, putting his hands on Erwin's chest, and he arched his back gracefully with an expression of absolute bliss on his face.

The grip he had on Levi's waist slowly relaxed and he sunk tiredly into the bed. His cock was still a little hard, but quickly subsiding. Remaining inside of him was almost painful. Any little movement from Levi sent a bolt of unbearable pleasure through his hips. He lifted his hands and placed them on Levi's thighs, trying to indicate that he should probably get off.

Levi's breathing slowly calmed, but he looked like he was somewhere else when he looked down at him. His cock was still fully hard and dripping. It must have been a really special experience for him to finally feel him coming inside of him.

"Here," Erwin said, helping him off of his cock. He let Levi sit across his waist and Levi supported himself on his knees. With his hand still resting on his thigh, Erwin put his fingers around Levi's cock and began to slowly and firmly work his hand around him. It may not have been quite enough, but Levi knew how to handle himself. He reached back and pressed a few of his fingers inside of himself, moving them roughly, raising his pace in tandem with the movements of Erwin's fist.

Soon enough, Erwin felt his cock jerk against his palm, and warm, thick cum dripped down the backs of his fingers. As Levi pulled his fingers out, Erwin swallowed heavily as he watched a line of his own cum roll down the inside of his thigh.

"That was... my first time," Erwin admitted, his eyes still fixed on it.

Levi raised an eyebrow, still appearing quite dazed. "Huh?"

"That was my first time coming inside of anyone," he said, tempted to cover his face.

"Huh," Levi said again. He tossed his leg over Erwin's side and got off the bed to grab them some tissues. "So that's why?" He passed a few of them to Erwin, but remained standing there with a thoughtful look on his face. "I think I get it. It felt really... _significant_ to feel you come inside me. I don't think I'd be happy if you did that for anyone else."

Erwin smiled, taking the proffered tissues. "Yes, that's how it is. So can I assume that it felt as special as I'd hoped?"

Levi got back on the bed and sat himself down in his lap, then leaned in to place a kiss directly on his lips, cupping Erwin's face in his hands. "It..." He shifted, struggling to speak honestly. "It was. I... felt very close to you. I suppose I can't fault you for waiting until the best moment. Can't complain. That was a thoughtful birthday gift."

"Oh..." Erwin let slip a chuckle. "I still have an actual gift for you. We can consider this your birthday gift and the other thing can be your Christmas present. Sound good?"

"Damn, you're spoiling me," Levi said, wrapping his arms around Erwin's neck. "So? Where is this gift?"

Taking a quick glance at the sticky, sweaty state they were in, Erwin decided that something had to be done about that before they could move on to further birthday celebration. Thankfully (and somewhat predictably, as well), Levi had no complaints about taking a quick shower with him to clean them up.

The shower they took together was a simple, relaxing affair. Both of them were still recovering from their first round of lovemaking and too exhausted to try anything funny. It was actually very cute to watch Levi stagger around in the tight, enclosed space as he tried to wash his hair with his eyes closed. As soon as Erwin's hands went up to help him, he'd wrapped his arms around him like an anchor to keep his balance and stayed that way until Erwin rinsed him off.

Once he dried off, Levi ran back to the bedroom, shouting about how cold he was. Without even putting on a pair of underwear, he dove under the covers and burrowed into them, shivering greatly. Erwin gave him a sympathetic look, feeling guilty that he had put his robe on without thinking to ask whether Levi would have liked to wear it instead. Levi didn't have a proper change of clothes with him, which made things a little difficult. With all of the time he'd started spending at his house, Erwin thought it might be appropriate if he brought a few changes of clothes for the future.

He would propose that possibility sometime soon. Levi would probably find that acceptable.

"I've got it in here somewhere," Erwin said, opening his closet. "While I'm in here, do you want a pair of my pajamas?"

Not bothering with an answer, Levi rolled out of his bed and went to the nearby dresser, wordlessly retrieving another of Erwin's work shirts. On himself, they were a knit fit, but on Levi, they looked more like something made for a giant, coming halfway down his thighs.

He found what he was looking for and came back to the bed with two neatly wrapped packages in hand. Levi crawled toward the middle of the bed to him and took the boxes from him. Holding the larger one up to his ear, he gave it a slight, curious shake to see if he could identify its contents by the sounds it made. His eyebrows raised higher when he didn't hear a single jangle or clank from inside.

"Okay, I can tell you what this is not," Levi said, setting it in his lap. "It's not a puppy."

"Were you expecting a puppy...?"

Levi stared. "That's not a real question is it?"

"Of course not." But it kind of was. He hadn't exactly asked Levi what he wanted beforehand. The idea he went with simply came to him and it felt too right to ignore. "Go on and open it. I think you're going to really like what I got."

He pointed at the bigger of the two packages and Levi began carefully removing the tape from each side. Erwin should have figured that he would be the type of guy who would be careful with the paper. When he wrapped it, he tried his hardest to cut the paper correctly, but he still ended up with more than he needed and it got bunched up in a couple places. Levi didn't remark on his wrapping's imperfections, though.

The paper was removed completely intact and was set aside as he turned the box over in his lap.

"A camcorder?" he said, slowly drawing his hand over the box. "Is this unopened? Where the hell did you get this?"

It sounded like he was pleased with it. "I found a guy online who wanted to get rid of a bunch of his old stuff. I went over to his house and he gave it to me for really cheap." Realizing how that sounded, Erwin bit his tongue. "Not that it makes it any less valuable, right?"

"Well, it's kind of worthless unless we have the right kind of tapes for it..."

"There's another gift in your lap, isn't there?" Erwin said smugly.

Unwrapping it as quickly as he could without tearing the paper, Levi unveiled what was hidden in gift number two. His eyes widened as he looked at the unopened, vacuum-sealed box of tapes, and a small smile graced his lips. "This is..."

Heart pounding, Erwin moved closer and wrapped an arm around Levi's waist. "We could set it up together. I thought – if it's okay with you – that maybe we would take some videos together; have our own home movies. Tomorrow's Christmas and your birthday, and soon it will be New Year's, so-"

Before he could finish, Levi sealed their lips together, grabbing him in a firm hug. The gifts tumbled onto the bed next to them as Erwin returned his embrace, pulling him into his lap. It was Levi who broke away, a tearful laugh falling from his lips. He kept his head down for a moment, his eyes closed, but when he looked up at him, Erwin could see a century's worth of emotion there.

"Erwin, thank you."

He was glad that he liked it as much as he'd hoped.

The snow continued to fall from the night sky outside, each flake leaving a tiny impression on the world. Like the many infinite snowflakes, Erwin made a silent wish that he could be with this person forever; forever falling, making an impression, and falling again.


	5. Paradox

"Erwin."

From behind him, that familiar voice called his name, traveling to him on the winter wind. Levi approached his side and gently laid a hand on his right shoulder, above the sleeve that flapped uselessly. Erwin caught him looking at it and saw the concern in his eyes when he looked up at him, felt him tighten his gloved hand around his shoulder.

"You alright? The others want to see you inside."

Right, there was a celebration happening. He wasn't really used to all of this yet; all of this celebrating and lighthearted fare. It seemed that Levi was on the same page with him by the look about him. He was alright around their former squadmates, but it became a much different atmosphere when there were this many people.

Tonight, the town hall was alive with a certain joy. For the first time in centuries, they were welcoming a new year; a year without fear. Surely, fear would exist a lot longer for some people, but he was glad that there would be a generation that didn't have to know what it was like to fear a titan, living the way that humans used to live with mundane difficulties.

Even now, their lives were anything but mundane. Erwin Smith was still who he'd always been, now missing an arm and a purpose, currently in search of a new one. And the one at his side...

"Levi, what are you going to do now?"

"Hm?" His narrow eyes became even thinner. "Go back inside? I don't know. I don't really feel like talking to anyone. I'm tired."

Good. What an upliftingly candid response. Levi clearly hadn't realized what kind of mood he'd just intruded upon, but that was for the best. These kinds of thoughts didn't have any use now. Cementing himself in the past wasn't going to help him move forward and adjust to the future. Levi was always living in the moment, heading wherever the wind of time pushed him along to next.

"Levi," he said, "stay with me. Be with me."

Levi's expression didn't change. "Do you think I'm going somewhere? Haven't I been here this whole time? Even when I'm not literally next to you, I'm always _with you_, aren't I?"

"I suppose that's true," he replied, his breath a transient puff of white fog in the air.

The hand on his shoulder slipped away and Levi came around behind him to stand on his other side. Keeping his eyes forward, looking down the steps in front of the town hall, out into the buildings before them, Levi grabbed Erwin's left hand in his right. Even through their gloves, Erwin could feel the faint warmth transmitted from Levi's palm.

That had probably been a very silly question. The future wasn't as uncertain as it had been before. He didn't need that kind of reassurance anymore to keep him going. The warmth that Levi gave to him wasn't going to disappear.

"It's all over now, huh," Levi said, nothing but a white whisper. He tilted his head to the side, closed his eyes, hummed thoughtfully.

Maybe he was as tired as he said.

He felt Levi's fingertips twitch against the back of his hand and he looked down.

"I don't want anyone to remember any of this," he said. "I'd rather everyone forget. If it's possible, somehow... No one should have to remember something like this, right? Besides, it's too cruel to believe."

"Give it a few centuries and maybe it'll all just be a fairy tale."

The wind picked up, smacking them with cold and tiny, pinching flakes of snow.

"What about us?" Levi asked. "What do you think? If that happened, would anyone remember us? I don't care if I'm remembered as humanity's strongest or as a savior or anything. But after this..."

It seemed that Levi had finally slipped into that atmosphere with him. Whether he asked it now or later, it was a question that must have been weighing on his mind. Erwin understood what he meant. Their lives sounded much sadder if they believed that no one would remember what they had to endure, even if it were the same thing they wanted to forget.

"I'll remember you," Erwin said confidently.

Tiredly opening his eyes, Levi gave him a suffering look. "That's not what I-"

"Now, ten years from now, twenty, until I die, and even after that. I promise that I'll always remember you as long as you'll always be by my side."

Levi continued to stare at him with wide eyes until the corners of his lips began to tremble and he had no choice but to look away. His hand loosened, then tightened with renewed strength.

Tilting his head back, Levi laughed up at the sky. It was lost in the air, not an echo to answer him back. In the blustery silence that followed, he relaxed with a sigh and an uncommonly delicate smile, resting his shoulder against Erwin's side, keeping their hands linked.

"You shouldn't go saying such stupid things. You know that I'll believe everything you say."

"Good. I love you, Levi."

He laughed tearfully. "Goddammit."


	6. Message

On Christmas day, they spent the morning setting up Levi's new old camcorder. The whole time, Erwin kept his fingers crossed internally, hoping that the thing wouldn't have developed any defects, being kept in a box for so many years. In the end, it turned out that he'd been worrying over nothing, and the camera worked perfectly well. It turned on with a tiny, mechanical buzz and Levi immediately started playing with the lens and the settings, then opened one of the tapes.

Before Erwin even had the time to make himself presentable, still dressed in the clothes he slept in, looking like an unshaven mess, Levi turned the lens on him with the red recording light lit. Frozen immediately like a deer caught in the headlights, he was at a loss, unable to think of a thing to do or say that would even be worth wasting tape on. He dreaded seeing his face again later, when Levi would play it back.

He begged Levi to take the camera off of him, but Levi stayed quiet, silently refusing, and followed him everywhere with it; around the living room, into the kitchen, following him up into the bedroom. Wondering how much it would take to make Levi turn the thing off, he sat down on the bed and slowly started taking off his clothes, hoping that he'd turn it off with each piece of clothing that was removed.

His palms were sweating by the time he reached his underwear. Levi would turn it off, he prayed.

The close focus he kept on him had some... unexpected effects on him. As long as no one else watched that particular video, he thought, then maybe it would be alright if he took it all off for him this once...

But, before he could pull off his last remaining piece of clothing, Levi finally stopped recording.

He turned it off, set it aside, and climbed on top of him.

And that was their morning. Who knew Levi would give him a new fetish for Christmas?

Staying true to his word, Levi didn't let them leave the bedroom for much save for food. Even if it were Erwin's house and his room, Levi refused to let him bring any food with him to bed. Erwin made a mental note that breakfast in bed would always be out of the question, never a thoughtful gesture when it came to his neatfreak boyfriend.

They took many short videos together between Christmas and New Year's Eve, archiving the little moments they spent together, doing everyday, unremarkable things. Erwin had the feeling that he would find himself sitting in a darkened room someday in the future, watching those little memories, remembering them as something much bigger and more significant. Assuming that there would be such a day, he hoped that Levi would still be there beside him, remembering it with him. A whole bunch of little memories were the necessary ingredients to make a lifetime.

Feeling New Year's Eve approaching, Erwin tried to think of something they could do. They lived in the city, so there were limitless options available to them. Levi seemed content to just sit around, taking videos. If he didn't think of something, they were going to stay inside forever.

Some of the guys from work told him that he could join them at a bar on New Year's Eve, but he wasn't sure if he was ready to show off Levi to his coworkers just yet... and Levi made a face when he proposed the idea anyway. It was probably stupid to have asked. The people at work were the reason Levi had left that job to begin with. There was no way he would've wanted to spend New Year's Eve trapped in a bar with them.

Knowing how attached Levi was to his camcorder, he realized that it didn't matter where they went, so long as Levi would be happy with what they could record. A noisy, crowded bar wouldn't have been the right kind of atmosphere at all.

So he suggested the park. It was right by the lake, but still within the city.

It didn't involve anyone else and it didn't sound like a lot of trouble, so Levi agreed to it right away.

Late on New Year's Eve, after making sure that the batteries in the camcorder were charged, they put on their coats and gloves and headed out. Levi carried the camera with him everywhere they went, turning it on to capture anything he found interesting; the tree lit in front of the town hall, the ice skating rink filled with couples and parents with their children, the little coffee place they stopped at, and even a few insignificant moments.

Every now and then, Erwin would turn around and find the lens pointed at him and he'd wonder how long Levi had been recording. Levi turned it off as soon as he noticed, pretending that he hadn't been watching him. Erwin knew that whenever they watched the video back, he was probably going to see himself from a lot of different candid angles.

That was okay, though. Even if Levi was quiet for most of the night, he was glad that he was enjoying his gift so thoroughly.

As they approached the park, Erwin noticed Levi's chattering teeth, so he offered a hand to him. For a second, Levi looked at it like it was a foreign object, then glanced around as if he were mapping the position of every stranger around them. After another moment's hesitation, he put the camcorder under his other arm and took Erwin's hand, keeping his eyes trained on the snow-dusted ground as they walked.

"How are you feeling? Are you too cold?" Erwin asked, lifting their joined hands, putting his other on top of Levi's to rub some more warmth into it.

Levi blinked up at him, looking slightly confused. "I'm fine. Tired, though."

"Tired, huh?" Erwin smiled. He was glad that his quietness wasn't being caused by something else. Levi was refreshingly uncomplicated sometimes. "We could stop and take a seat. I'm sure there has to be a bench free around here somewhere. Do you think you can stay awake long enough to make it to midnight?"

Levi sniffed and tugged on his hand, dragging them forward along the path, between tall trees whose branches hung heavy with snow. He seemed like he knew where they were going, so Erwin didn't question their direction.

"I'm not a child. Only an old man like you would go to sleep before midnight."

He really knew how to deliver a punch to his pride. The way he said it was so fond that Erwin couldn't be surprised for long enough to feel offended, though.

Lifting the hand holding his camcorder, Levi pointed toward the distance where Erwin could just make out the flat, frozen surface of the lake, grey and almost invisible with the snow creating a dense screen before them. It became clearer as they neared, and he spotted the bench near the edge that Levi must have been aware of. There was a dock nearby that attracted all other attention, keeping the benches free.

Erwin released his hand for the moment so he could swipe the snow off the bench's surface. As soon as he sat down, Levi joined him, sitting close to his side.

"You've been really quiet tonight," Erwin said, pressing his shoulder against Levi's.

He looked down at the camera in his lap. "...I didn't wanna talk while I was recording," he muttered.

"Really? I don't think that would be a problem. In fact, shouldn't you say something while you're recording? You aren't making an art piece. You're recording your memories, so shouldn't you say what you're thinking, to remember what you felt when you recorded all of these things?"

He remained quiet. He was a lot like his father, after all.

After a minute of silence, broken only by the distance voices of other people and the rush of the wind past their ears, Levi took the lens cap off the camcorder and turned it on again. Lifting it up to chest height, he hit record.

"It's... a nice view," he said, pointing the camera at the lake that sprawled endlessly into the dark night's horizon.

"Is it?" Erwin laughed. "There's nothing there."

Levi gave a light shake of his head, his hair falling over his brow, being swept around by the snowy air. "It's not all I see," he said.

When Erwin looked back down to his side, his eyes were met by Levi's. Without another thought, Erwin dipped his head and kissed him, gently holding a hand against his cheek. Something about that moment, like many moments before, felt like something he had experienced before; the delicately falling snow, the cold wind, the faint warmth beneath his glove.

Words hung on his lips.

"I love you," Levi said against his mouth, parting, slowly opening his closed eyes to look at him. "That was what you were going to say, wasn't it?"

"Was it that obvious?" Erwin asked, touching his gloved fingertips against his lips where the warmth of Levi's still lingered.

Levi brought the camcorder back up, pointing it toward him. "No... Well, _yes_. But that's not why I said it. I just had this feeling like, if I didn't say it, then you were going to beat me to it. You're like that."

"You meant it, though, right?"

Levi looked at him blankly, then burst into a laugh. "Of course. Was it even a question?"

No, it never had been. That was what made it so perplexing, but also so reassuring. From the beginning, he never doubted Levi's feelings and never questioned his own attachment to him.

"I'm glad you got that on camera," Erwin said, smiling into the lens. Even if he hadn't, he felt sure that it was a moment he would have remembered forever. "It's going to be midnight in a minute or so. Is there anything else you want to say to your future self?"

Keeping the camera pointed at Erwin, Levi looked toward the lake as he thought, staring into the distance. Once decided, he turned the camera around, holding it out for Erwin to take. Erwin looked through the viewfinder to make sure he had him centered and held it steady.

He watched Levi as he fidgeted, trying to find the words to say.

"I don't have anything to say to my future self. We're all heading into the future one second at a time, so it would be a little pointless to say something to the me three seconds from now. There's no telling what the me from three years from now would be like, either. The things I say now might have no relevance to that me, but there is a me I can talk to with certainty, even if it's impossible."

He took a deep breath, then released a slow lungful of warm air.

"I want to tell my past self that I'm happy, and... thank you." He glanced up, over the camera, at Erwin. "If I ever had to do everything all over again, I would always choose to be with you, to stay by your side."

Erwin could feel himself being drawn into those eyes again. Just as he got ready to turn off the camera, to lean in for another kiss, they were interrupted by a loud burst. The sudden, loud noise caused Levi to jump so high that he almost fell off the bench, having to grab onto Erwin to keep himself steady, ruining the shot.

"It must be midnight," Erwin said with a shaky, startled laugh, looking up at the bright red and white fireworks that blossomed over the tops of the trees and buildings.

Levi weakly took the camera from him with jittering fingers and pointed it at the sky.

"Who knows if this old thing will even capture any of this. The snow in the air might mess it up and make it look fuzzy."

"Levi."

He kept an eye on the viewfinder. "...Y-yeah?"

Leaning over, Erwin put an arm around Levi's shoulders and pressed his nose against his neck, laying a light kiss against the underside of his jaw.

"Happy New Year, Levi."

Even in the cold, he could see Levi's pale cheeks turning red.

"Goddammit," he muttered, stubbornly keeping himself busy with the camera. "You're always going to embarrass me, aren't you?"

"Forever," Erwin promised.


End file.
